remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
