You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
