You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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