I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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