Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
