Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
