Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
