Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
