We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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