dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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