laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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