What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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