I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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