Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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