I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
