genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
