You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've blown a few things in my day
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
