giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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