I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
