there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
