Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
