We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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