Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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