I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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