is your mom at the bar?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
