So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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