ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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