Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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