my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is it because I queefed?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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