Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
