i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This girl is more easily done than said...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
