Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
