Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
