can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
