I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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