You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
