I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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