dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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