This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
