I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
