gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
