Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
