You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
