I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
