where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
