remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
