it was like eating out sand paper
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
