Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
