You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
