Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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