Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
