I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
