My first STD was from a foam party
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
