I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
