I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
