You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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